Blog 6

Prompt 1A Queer Masculinities of Straight Men

This article proposed a new idea to me. I have always known that our society, and I myself have been guilty or assuming someone’s sexuality based on their mannerisms, interests, etc. It is always a natural thing to us. After taking women studies classes, I have learned to realize just how useless and stereotypical that is. However I never really considered how assuming someone’s sexuality affects the other person. Even if my thoughts are kept to myself, by assuming and trying to fit someone into their gender or sexuality box I am degrading them. I have learned that this is not important, but I never considered just how much something like this can hurt someone.
Heasley talks about how many times he has had to defend his sexuality. He describes how he is straight, married with three children, but before people find that out they assume him to be gay, because he talks with his hands, doesn’t have a deep voice, isn’t too interested in sports, and is a feminist. Heasley goes onto say “It has always bothered me that I had come to define myself (and be defined by others) as ‘nontraditional’”. This is the quote that hit me. This poor guy has to defend himself and put a label on who he is. He is “nontraditional.” Putting this label on himself bothers him, but the society we live in almost forces things like labels on people. It’s as if we can’t let anyone just be comfortable with who they are.



Prompt 1B Sissyphobia and Everything After

Berling asks the questions “why do so many of us, gay or straight, have a problem when men are ‘less than manly?’” This question was something that was significant to me, and something that I have observered. This question made me realize just how much I myself may contribute to this problem. I have no problem with “feminine men” or men of the LGBTQ community, but I have found myself being concerned with the “less than manly” man before. When I think of a possible boyfriend I think of a “manly man” and I want someone who can take care of me and who is not a “wimp.” This sounds horrible and old fashioned but it is true. I do not have a problem with “effeminate men” but would I consider an effeminate man for a campanion? It is hypocrytical for me to even ask that question when I consider myself a supporter of the LGBTQ community and I fully support one expressing themselves to the fullest. But I may be a cause to one holding back them true selves. Also I want the manly man, but I also want a man who can show his emotions, be himself, and be loving, so technically that may be an effeminate man? I’m glad I read this article, so I could ask myself why do I care so much if a man is less than manly. I shouldn’t care. And technically I would want a man who is somewhat effeminate. It makes me think twice of just how much society may be influencing me. This article was eyeopening to me and made me take a look at what screwed up ideas in my head that I may need to reconsider.



Prompt 2B Sissyphobia and Everything After

Berling says “Boys who exhibit effeminate tendencies from an early age are often subject to extremely cruel treatment at the hands of their peers and even their families.” This made me think of a few close males in my life. I know some who could be labeled as effeminate. They are comfortable with their sexuality and identify as straight, but they are often assumed to be gay. This can be seen as ridicule to them. This quote made me realize just how much they may have suffered in their lifetime. It is unfair to realize that since they are being themselves, they are ridiculed for it. And this again makes me mad at myself for seeing someone as effeminate as someone who is not boyfriend material in my mind. Hypocritical I know. I have had so many experiences with people having problems with effeminate men or gay men. I had an experince at work where a straight male said “I like Richard. Usually I don’t like gay men at all. He is the only one I can handle.” This made me so irritated. Why can you not “handle” straight men is what I asked him. He couldn’t really answer me. It just shows me how much of a problem our society has with accepting gay men or less manly men, and as I stated before, even something I need to work on.



Prompt 1A Bear Bodies, Bear Masculinity

This article presented a topic I had never even heard about before. I have never heard of “bear men.” It was interesting to read, because I never see bear gay men in the media, I never read about them, and up until now I have never learned about them. It was interesting to read, but also made me realize how much our media stereotypes gay men. The gay men you see in the media is always the super feminine, fashionable, very flamboent gay man. I can’t think of one instance where I have seen a husky, bear gay man in the media. It was interesting to draw this connection to how our society has to analyze everything and put a label on everything and everyone. To me a gay man is someone who is just that, gay. They are by definition of gay attracted to other men. But this explanation isn’t good enough for our society. The gay men who are not feminine or the stereotypical gay man are labeled as “bear”, and the media portrays all gay men in the same flamboent way. Not necessarily that putting these labels is always a negative thing, because as seen in the article “bear men” like to have conventions and they have events together, etc, so they must not mind the label so much and they must relate with each other better, but it was interesting to draw the connection of these men that I have never heard of before and draw it back to the stereotypical media. It is also interesting to relate this back to the whole gender idea. We have to put a label on it, and if someone doesn’t fit the norm, we question them or have to think of a new name or category to fit them in.