Blog Number 2!

Prompt (1a)
Allan G Johnson – “Patriarchy, The System”
This article presented a new idea to me that I totally agree with. Our society is so fast to point the finger at others. If something goes wrong or someone is racist, violent, sexist, we say they have a messed up mind and are somewhat disgusted. But we never ask how they got that way. We never think to look at our society, and how many things in our society could shape people in a bad way. The article states that if a man beat, raped, harassed, etc a woman we ask how could they instead of asking “what kind of society could promote persistent patterns of such behavior in everyday life, from wife-beating jokes to the routine inclusion of sexual coercion and violence in mainstream movies” (p. 344).
This presented a new idea to me. Of course I am not blind to all the violence and sex in today’s media. I knew it must be detrimental in some way; however I never really took it as seriously as I should have. I always blame the individual when in fact our society is filling people’s heads with horrible ideas. And though I do not necessarily support it, I am still a supporter by seeing such films, in a sense fueling profit and agree to the violence being portrayed. It was a new idea to take more responsibility. A lot of the times we all think we are innocent, but in reality there is so much more we could do. “As the saying goes, what evil requires is simply that ordinary people do nothing” (p. 345).

Prompt (1b)
Pail Kivel – “The act like a man box”
This is an article that I could totally relate too and something that I see every day. I learned a little background from wmst 101, which led me to take this class. Men are just as pressured and oppressed in a sense as women. They have more benefits in certain areas, but in all honestly they are silently beaten and forced to hold back all emotions that every human possesses.
This cycle is unfair to both men and women. It is not fair for men to have to hide their emotions and be “manly” at all times. However, this also is unfair to women. Because it seems the worst thing you can call a man is a “fag” or something that relates to a woman. “This feeds into two things we are taught to fear: (1) that we may not be manly enough and (2) that we might be gay” (p. 148). I feel so bad for men to have to be pressured into this box, and it just disturbs me that the biggest fears relate to having to be like a woman (I don’t know why that is so bad?!) or being gay! Homophobia is such a big concept to men and I feel that so many men are homophobic and it is so annoying. And our culture and this box are making men fear this and not being manly enough!


Prompt (1c)
Bell Hooks – “The will to Change” Chapter 1
I was somewhat confused of what Hooks was saying. Not that it was hard to understand or that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but rather because I couldn’t relate. She talks about men’s love. How she longed for love from her Father more than her Mother and she said many girls and boys feel that way. This was unrelatable to me, because I never longer for my father’s love more. Maybe I was just fortunate and he showed me his love. I could also not relate to not wanted to hear men’s feelings. I personally love deep conversations and love it when men open up and you truly get to know a person. That idea does not freak me out at all. She also stated that “real men get mad” (p. 7). This is also something that I couldn’t relate too. Of course I know men seem to get angrier easier and they are taught to express this emotion alone. But I do not agree with it. Half the time when I see a guy get mad it is for a dumb reason in my opinion and I see him as needing anger management and it is a turn off to me not something or the only thing that I want to see men express.
However I had mixed feelings on this chapter, because some of what she said was relatable. I do believe women value relationships with men. Even for me when I have a close guy friend, to have a deep conversation with them or when they tell you how they really feel, it means so much more to me than if a girlfriend were to say the same thing. It means more because it is more unexpected and women tell you daily how they feel. So in a way I feel bad for men. They are getting mixed signals and Hooks explains. We want their love and for them to show emotion (which I really do want) but at the same time we want to feel safe, protected, and we want them to be the fearless provider. “Ultimately boys and men save themselves when they earn the art of loving” (p. 16). We must let men be free to love and express themselves and not always expect them to be fearless, for we all have emotions.


Prompt (1a)
The second chapter of “The Will to Change” by Hooks presented a new idea to me. I have always known that men have been looked at as the “provider” but some of the concepts that Hooks talked about presented some new ideas to me. Our society seems to see mainly only the troubles that women face, so there comes the feminist. Feminism is something I agree with and I consider myself a feminist, but looking more into men and the idea of masculinities I feel that our society doesn’t fully recognize the pressures they put on men to be “inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence” (p.18).
Our society put these ideas and pressures into men. They were not born violent with ideas of dominance. When you notice this, I notice at least that our society is really detrimental to men. They have to pressure to be superior, a provider, not show their emotions, etc. If I had to hide my emotions then I would feel like I was hiding part of me. Also when Hooks mentioned the idea of church that was something new to me. I have been to church and never even realized how the church group put the pressures on men too. The Bible states men are there to rule and women are caregivers, also Jesus is portrayed as a man. I am really glad to start noticing these things so I can do what I can to reduce the pressures of the men in my life.



Prompt (2b)
When I read the article “The act like a man box” by Paul Kivel, I immediately wanted to write about it and thought of an incident that just happened to me a few days ago.
The article talks about how boys are told to be manly and not a sissy and “most of all they are told not to cry” (p. 148). Just a few days ago I was talking to one of my best guy friends. His Grandfather was really sick and getting ready to pass away, as the doctors said. So of course we talked about it a lot. We were texting and he shocked me because he said “sorry if I am acting like a baby about this.” I was immediately shocked and wondered why he would even feel the need to day that. I informed him that he is not a baby at all and it was a huge deal. Anyone would be sad and consumed by the thought. Also we are really close so I just didn’t even know why he would think that. I thought about our class and when I read this article, I thought about our conversation.
It makes me so sad to think that this “box” has the effect that is described in this article. I have always seen this idea of boys having to be manly but until the incident with my friend I didn’t realize how much it affects guys. My friend who was going through a really tough time shouldn’t feel the need to justify anything to me. I never thought of him as a wimp, but he obviously has been affected by this idea of not being able to cry and being manly. It makes me sad to think guys are programmed in this way, and it affects them in ways more than we may think or know.