Prompt 1A Queer Masculinities of Straight Men
This article proposed a new idea to me. I have always known that our society, and I myself have been guilty or assuming someone’s sexuality based on their mannerisms, interests, etc. It is always a natural thing to us. After taking women studies classes, I have learned to realize just how useless and stereotypical that is. However I never really considered how assuming someone’s sexuality affects the other person. Even if my thoughts are kept to myself, by assuming and trying to fit someone into their gender or sexuality box I am degrading them. I have learned that this is not important, but I never considered just how much something like this can hurt someone.
Heasley talks about how many times he has had to defend his sexuality. He describes how he is straight, married with three children, but before people find that out they assume him to be gay, because he talks with his hands, doesn’t have a deep voice, isn’t too interested in sports, and is a feminist. Heasley goes onto say “It has always bothered me that I had come to define myself (and be defined by others) as ‘nontraditional’”. This is the quote that hit me. This poor guy has to defend himself and put a label on who he is. He is “nontraditional.” Putting this label on himself bothers him, but the society we live in almost forces things like labels on people. It’s as if we can’t let anyone just be comfortable with who they are.
Prompt 1B Sissyphobia and Everything After
Berling asks the questions “why do so many of us, gay or straight, have a problem when men are ‘less than manly?’” This question was something that was significant to me, and something that I have observered. This question made me realize just how much I myself may contribute to this problem. I have no problem with “feminine men” or men of the LGBTQ community, but I have found myself being concerned with the “less than manly” man before. When I think of a possible boyfriend I think of a “manly man” and I want someone who can take care of me and who is not a “wimp.” This sounds horrible and old fashioned but it is true. I do not have a problem with “effeminate men” but would I consider an effeminate man for a campanion? It is hypocrytical for me to even ask that question when I consider myself a supporter of the LGBTQ community and I fully support one expressing themselves to the fullest. But I may be a cause to one holding back them true selves. Also I want the manly man, but I also want a man who can show his emotions, be himself, and be loving, so technically that may be an effeminate man? I’m glad I read this article, so I could ask myself why do I care so much if a man is less than manly. I shouldn’t care. And technically I would want a man who is somewhat effeminate. It makes me think twice of just how much society may be influencing me. This article was eyeopening to me and made me take a look at what screwed up ideas in my head that I may need to reconsider.
Prompt 2B Sissyphobia and Everything After
Berling says “Boys who exhibit effeminate tendencies from an early age are often subject to extremely cruel treatment at the hands of their peers and even their families.” This made me think of a few close males in my life. I know some who could be labeled as effeminate. They are comfortable with their sexuality and identify as straight, but they are often assumed to be gay. This can be seen as ridicule to them. This quote made me realize just how much they may have suffered in their lifetime. It is unfair to realize that since they are being themselves, they are ridiculed for it. And this again makes me mad at myself for seeing someone as effeminate as someone who is not boyfriend material in my mind. Hypocritical I know. I have had so many experiences with people having problems with effeminate men or gay men. I had an experince at work where a straight male said “I like Richard. Usually I don’t like gay men at all. He is the only one I can handle.” This made me so irritated. Why can you not “handle” straight men is what I asked him. He couldn’t really answer me. It just shows me how much of a problem our society has with accepting gay men or less manly men, and as I stated before, even something I need to work on.
Prompt 1A Bear Bodies, Bear Masculinity
This article presented a topic I had never even heard about before. I have never heard of “bear men.” It was interesting to read, because I never see bear gay men in the media, I never read about them, and up until now I have never learned about them. It was interesting to read, but also made me realize how much our media stereotypes gay men. The gay men you see in the media is always the super feminine, fashionable, very flamboent gay man. I can’t think of one instance where I have seen a husky, bear gay man in the media. It was interesting to draw this connection to how our society has to analyze everything and put a label on everything and everyone. To me a gay man is someone who is just that, gay. They are by definition of gay attracted to other men. But this explanation isn’t good enough for our society. The gay men who are not feminine or the stereotypical gay man are labeled as “bear”, and the media portrays all gay men in the same flamboent way. Not necessarily that putting these labels is always a negative thing, because as seen in the article “bear men” like to have conventions and they have events together, etc, so they must not mind the label so much and they must relate with each other better, but it was interesting to draw the connection of these men that I have never heard of before and draw it back to the stereotypical media. It is also interesting to relate this back to the whole gender idea. We have to put a label on it, and if someone doesn’t fit the norm, we question them or have to think of a new name or category to fit them in.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Blog 5
Prompt 1B “A New Vision of Masculinity”
This article started out reinforcing a lot of ideas I have already known. All these ideas I still agree with. It is always still so upsetting to hear what you already know. That being called a “fag” is so horrible to men. It makes me upset that we use the term in that way, and it is degrading to the one being bullied and to LGBTQ members that a term used to associate with them sometimes is the “worst” thing you can call a man. It is nice to learn just how much men are pressured though. It works for both genders; we are all structured in a mold.
I like how the article said all the things boy DO NOT learn. They say they don’t learn much about being supportive, nurturing, showing emotion (besides anger) etc. This appealed to me because of the way it was written. We always say boys are naturally more aggressive, competitive, strong, etc but in reality that is not “natural” it is what they were taught and what they were molded into. Same goes for women. We always try to say that’s just the way things are, but in reality we made things this way. Society is making men the way they are. We are not born into stereotypes, we are brought up surrounded by those ideas and gender roles, and then we get molded into those. Boys are being robbed of showing their true self and it is also leading to aggression and violence. It was great to read that these issues are being looked at and that the new generation is being taught new qualities and not just the old fashion Marlboro man image.
Prompt 1A The Macho Paradox Chapter 13
It is nice to read of what men are doing to help stop violence and rape against women. It was a new concept for me to read all this, because for some reason you rarely hear about organizations of men taking a stand. I just recently started seeing flyers around campus of “Men can stop rape.” Before these flyers I literally never heard of men taking the movement to stop the violence that is mainly committed by men.
I loved the quote at the very beginning of the chapter. It stated “From today those who inflict violence on others will know they are being isolated and cannot count on other men to protect them” (p. 253). This was an epiphany to me. It showed me that maybe the problem all along was that men felt too comfortable and it almost feels natural and what they are taught. Men are taught to be aggressive, dominating, strong, etc. But once men take a stand, it is clear that men do not agree with this violence put onto women. Men fighting for women’s rights sadly gets more attention than when women fight for their rights. Although that seems degrading to women, it is comforting to hear of just how many men are starting to fight against this and it is nice to hear all the chances men can take and join to stop the violence and rape.
Prompt 2B The Macho Paradox Chapter 13
This chapter showed just how much men can do to stop violence against women. But it also showed how some men reply to being asked to take a stand. Most men think I would never rape or abuse someone, so why is it my problem? This shows how a male columnist responded when asked to answer and ask questions of what he and possibly other men are willing to do to stop rape and sexual assault. He responded “I will not rape anyone. Is there anything more I should add to this?” (p. 260). This quote shows how most men think about the issue of rape and sexual assault.
I have many male friends that think like this. They get irritated with my newly found feminist outlooks, and are constantly saying things similar to the above quote. Most men do not see it as their issue because they themselves are not personally causing it. However it is seen that when men speak out there is more attention towards the issue. I think the problem is most men are not educated on this. I myself was not educated until recently about how much of an effect men can have and how many organizations there are out there. I recently broke through to one of my friends to research this and convinced him to do a speech for GEO on sexual assault and rape and how to stop it. It is encouraging to hear, and he informed me that his professor and most females in the class thought the idea was great. So it is helping him out too. Men just need to be more educated on the topic, and hopefully there can be more awareness and actions taken to stop sexual assault and rape.
Prompt 1A The Will to Change Chapter 7
Hooks presented a new idea to me in this chapter and it was something I now agree with. Hooks presented the idea of how by fighting for women’s equalities we often ignore some of men’s needs. At first while reading this, I didn’t want to listen. It sounded like Hooks was down talking feminism and patting men on the back. But after reading the entire chapter I understand and agree. Feminism is about equality, so if we are going to fight for it, we need to fight for everyone. One shouldn’t fight for equal pay and then get in power and forget about everyone else. They should fight for the poor masses. We are never taught equalities or that we can choose what we want to do, we are always taught distinct gender differences or limitations rather.
We always say that women don’t get this or that. So we try to make sure that women get equal rights to men. But as Hooks describes, boys are never given “the right to choose not to engage in aggressive or violent play, the right to play with dolls, or play dress up, to wear costumes of either gender, the right to choose” (p. 111). I never looked at it this way, but I totally agree! I am not saying men are so denied of things, or that women are in the wrong. But in reality feminism is about equality for all. And all along we have been robbing boys of being able to choose just as we have for women. There must be attention to both faults, and we should be teaching the youth freedom to express themselves, and less on gender roles and how to fit into their box based on their gender.
Prompt 1C The Will to Change Chapter 11
I found chapter 11 very confusing. It wasn’t clear to me exactly what Hooks was trying to say. What I did get out of it, was that she was saying that men right now are incapable to love. I found this confusing and did not agree. She speaks as if no man can love, but that there are “beacons of hope embodying the truth that men can love” (p. 172). Her statements contradict what I have seen. Sure men love in a different way, and some may not love, but I know men are capable of love. Hooks makes this idea seem so farfetched. I grew up with a loving father, uncles, grandpas, and male friends.
I also can never get around how Hooks will sometimes generalize too much. She talks of how gay men are able to love and that they are seen as feminine because they show feeling, and then she goes onto state that “straight men and patriarchal gay men can learn from them” (p. 175). This statement was too generic for me. To me this statement is saying no straight man knows how to love or show emotion and that almost every gay guy does. Sure some gay men may be more open to things like this, but it doesn’t mean that all are, and it doesn’t mean that straight men are incapable of showing emotion. I guess Hooks just challenges the lifestyle I grew up in. Just call me lucky I guess, but this chapter was confusing and un-relatable to me.
This article started out reinforcing a lot of ideas I have already known. All these ideas I still agree with. It is always still so upsetting to hear what you already know. That being called a “fag” is so horrible to men. It makes me upset that we use the term in that way, and it is degrading to the one being bullied and to LGBTQ members that a term used to associate with them sometimes is the “worst” thing you can call a man. It is nice to learn just how much men are pressured though. It works for both genders; we are all structured in a mold.
I like how the article said all the things boy DO NOT learn. They say they don’t learn much about being supportive, nurturing, showing emotion (besides anger) etc. This appealed to me because of the way it was written. We always say boys are naturally more aggressive, competitive, strong, etc but in reality that is not “natural” it is what they were taught and what they were molded into. Same goes for women. We always try to say that’s just the way things are, but in reality we made things this way. Society is making men the way they are. We are not born into stereotypes, we are brought up surrounded by those ideas and gender roles, and then we get molded into those. Boys are being robbed of showing their true self and it is also leading to aggression and violence. It was great to read that these issues are being looked at and that the new generation is being taught new qualities and not just the old fashion Marlboro man image.
Prompt 1A The Macho Paradox Chapter 13
It is nice to read of what men are doing to help stop violence and rape against women. It was a new concept for me to read all this, because for some reason you rarely hear about organizations of men taking a stand. I just recently started seeing flyers around campus of “Men can stop rape.” Before these flyers I literally never heard of men taking the movement to stop the violence that is mainly committed by men.
I loved the quote at the very beginning of the chapter. It stated “From today those who inflict violence on others will know they are being isolated and cannot count on other men to protect them” (p. 253). This was an epiphany to me. It showed me that maybe the problem all along was that men felt too comfortable and it almost feels natural and what they are taught. Men are taught to be aggressive, dominating, strong, etc. But once men take a stand, it is clear that men do not agree with this violence put onto women. Men fighting for women’s rights sadly gets more attention than when women fight for their rights. Although that seems degrading to women, it is comforting to hear of just how many men are starting to fight against this and it is nice to hear all the chances men can take and join to stop the violence and rape.
Prompt 2B The Macho Paradox Chapter 13
This chapter showed just how much men can do to stop violence against women. But it also showed how some men reply to being asked to take a stand. Most men think I would never rape or abuse someone, so why is it my problem? This shows how a male columnist responded when asked to answer and ask questions of what he and possibly other men are willing to do to stop rape and sexual assault. He responded “I will not rape anyone. Is there anything more I should add to this?” (p. 260). This quote shows how most men think about the issue of rape and sexual assault.
I have many male friends that think like this. They get irritated with my newly found feminist outlooks, and are constantly saying things similar to the above quote. Most men do not see it as their issue because they themselves are not personally causing it. However it is seen that when men speak out there is more attention towards the issue. I think the problem is most men are not educated on this. I myself was not educated until recently about how much of an effect men can have and how many organizations there are out there. I recently broke through to one of my friends to research this and convinced him to do a speech for GEO on sexual assault and rape and how to stop it. It is encouraging to hear, and he informed me that his professor and most females in the class thought the idea was great. So it is helping him out too. Men just need to be more educated on the topic, and hopefully there can be more awareness and actions taken to stop sexual assault and rape.
Prompt 1A The Will to Change Chapter 7
Hooks presented a new idea to me in this chapter and it was something I now agree with. Hooks presented the idea of how by fighting for women’s equalities we often ignore some of men’s needs. At first while reading this, I didn’t want to listen. It sounded like Hooks was down talking feminism and patting men on the back. But after reading the entire chapter I understand and agree. Feminism is about equality, so if we are going to fight for it, we need to fight for everyone. One shouldn’t fight for equal pay and then get in power and forget about everyone else. They should fight for the poor masses. We are never taught equalities or that we can choose what we want to do, we are always taught distinct gender differences or limitations rather.
We always say that women don’t get this or that. So we try to make sure that women get equal rights to men. But as Hooks describes, boys are never given “the right to choose not to engage in aggressive or violent play, the right to play with dolls, or play dress up, to wear costumes of either gender, the right to choose” (p. 111). I never looked at it this way, but I totally agree! I am not saying men are so denied of things, or that women are in the wrong. But in reality feminism is about equality for all. And all along we have been robbing boys of being able to choose just as we have for women. There must be attention to both faults, and we should be teaching the youth freedom to express themselves, and less on gender roles and how to fit into their box based on their gender.
Prompt 1C The Will to Change Chapter 11
I found chapter 11 very confusing. It wasn’t clear to me exactly what Hooks was trying to say. What I did get out of it, was that she was saying that men right now are incapable to love. I found this confusing and did not agree. She speaks as if no man can love, but that there are “beacons of hope embodying the truth that men can love” (p. 172). Her statements contradict what I have seen. Sure men love in a different way, and some may not love, but I know men are capable of love. Hooks makes this idea seem so farfetched. I grew up with a loving father, uncles, grandpas, and male friends.
I also can never get around how Hooks will sometimes generalize too much. She talks of how gay men are able to love and that they are seen as feminine because they show feeling, and then she goes onto state that “straight men and patriarchal gay men can learn from them” (p. 175). This statement was too generic for me. To me this statement is saying no straight man knows how to love or show emotion and that almost every gay guy does. Sure some gay men may be more open to things like this, but it doesn’t mean that all are, and it doesn’t mean that straight men are incapable of showing emotion. I guess Hooks just challenges the lifestyle I grew up in. Just call me lucky I guess, but this chapter was confusing and un-relatable to me.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Blog 4
Prompt (1a) Macho Paradox, Chapter 1
Katz presented a new idea for me in this chapter. It was an idea that I recently discovered last semester and more this semester in women studies. He talks of how rape and violence against women is a man’s issue. And this is an idea I could not agree with more! Why would it be a women’s issue to fix it, they are not the ones committing the violent acts! It was also new to hear that Katz has a group of men “whose aim is to reduce violence against women by focusing on those aspects of male culture.” This seems like the perfect solution. Men need to take action. There are more men in higher political positions who could make a change. If more men participated in this, it could be more “popular” and more men would gain interest and hopefully jump on the band wagon, and if not at least they could get educated on the topic.
It is a man’s issue. Women are not committing the crimes. Less that 1% of these crimes are committed by women according to Katz. So why has it become our problem? It frustrates me so much to hear of a rape or attempted attack, etc and you hear someone asking questions about the victim, why they were doing this or that or anything on what they were doing; why the hell don’t we ask “why the hell are these sick men raping others?” The finger needs to be pointed at the criminal not the victim.
Prompt (1a) "The Macho Paradox" Chapter 2
Chapter 2 presented some new ideas to me. And now knowing these facts, I totally agree with what Katz is saying. Katz continues to focus on how rape is a man’s problem. However he focuses on how the true facts should not be ignored. Many of us, mainly men are silent to the violence and rape that occurs so frequently in our society. We are so quick to think it is unrelated to us, or we diminish the facts and concepts that should be portrayed to the public like how most of these crimes are committed by men and men who are close to the victim, instead the media just lists the event and totally unrelates it to everything. This makes the crimes unrelateable to most making them think it is not their problem, and it lessens the intensity.
Katz states "I believe that men who are silent in the face of other men's violence-whether the silence is intentional or not-are complicit in the perpetration of that violence" (25). This was a new idea for me. This idea encompassed the entire chapter. I knew rape was a man’s problem; it is committed by men 99% of the time. I didn't realize though how much sitting in silence is adding to the crime and the lack of awareness. Doing nothing is just as bad as committing the crime. We too often make the story unrelated to us and our lives, or think "well I don't do that so it doesn't matter", but in fact it makes a huge difference. Everyone should work on standing up for whats right and should be less concerned about just themselves.
Prompt (1b) “The Macho Paradox” Chapter 4
In Chapter 4 Katz talks about listening to women. What a concept right?!?! Women are the ones who started the movements and who are getting abused. However they are not being listened too. Our culture is still very sexist and racist. Katz talks about how he wrote this book based on all the ideas and movements women started, because sadly, women were not getting the attention they deserved. But people listened to Katz, because he is a man! THAT IS RIDICULOUS! But sadly it is something that makes sense to me. You can see this concept daily and everywhere. Men are treated with more respect and are heard more than woman. If it is a man’s problem or a man speaking about it, it is suddenly more important. Katz states that men want to “tell strong, smart, vocal women to sit down and shut up-and stop complaining” (62). This is so true. It is sad that society has shaped men to need to be in control. Because of this women are suffering. Men do not like women in control and whenever a woman talks of an issue she is “complaining” but a man can really be complaining about something and he is in the right.
It is saddening to know that women are not being heard, understood, or taken seriously. Katz comments on how a rape victim was glad to have support of her close male peers, but she states that sadly it is not true for all rape victims “many of whom feel isolated and unsupported, especially by their male peers” (65). This is sad but true. Some women are not even supported by their close male peers. I know when I talk about violence against women around a lot of my male peers it seems so unimportant to them and they seem to not care. Luckily I know that if something horrible like rape happened to me, they would be behind me, but since it is “unrelated” to me so far they see it as no big deal. And sadly some women are not even taken seriously when something horrible has happened to them.
Prompt (1a) "The Macho Paradox" Chapter 5
Katz presented some new ideas to me in this chapter. I knew women are sometimes frowned upon for voicing an opinion for what is right. Ridiculous right? I know. However Katz brought up things I have never noticed, like how women who are victims of violence and speak out are often called "male-bashers" which would imply violence on their part. The victim becomes the bad guy. Also Katz mentioned how men will misinterpret things and think since they are not a rapist or their friends that all men are like that. Katz states " 'The statement 'most violent crimes are committed by men' is ofter misheard as 'most men are violent.'" (79) This quote shows just how blind our society is, or just how blind they want to be. To me it seems that most men (not all) want to ignore the fact that 99% of rapes are committed by men and that most violent crimes are committed by men as well. This ties into the whole idea of ignoring the idea and being silent, when everyone, especially men need to take a stand!
Katz also talked about how the alleged victims become alleged accusers. Like when Kobe was accused of rape, the victim wasn't heard and of course since he is famous and rich he got off. The language matters as Katz states, and the language should be turned on the criminal not the victim.
Prompt (2a) Macho Paradox, Chapter 1
The idea of violence against women being a man’s issue has become a big part of my life. I feel strongly about it. Katz mentions “Take back the Night” rallies numerous times just in chapter one, and those rallies are something I have been involved in. I can’t stand when a victim is questioned or pointed at as in the wrong in any situation and that is what our society does many times. So this subject has impacted my life, and I will be helping with the rally on our campus this year.
The idea of take back the night is for women to literally take back the night. In some countries women have a curfew because there are too many women being raped. So the idea goes like this…”why don’t the men get a curfew since they are the one committing the crimes, and the women can go out and enjoy their lives?” The men should be punished. So the women are trying to “take back the night.” There should not be limits on the victim. There should never be questions asked like “why was she out so late, what was she doing there, etc?” the questions and criticism should always be linked at the criminal. It will also focus on rape culture and the reason men commit all these crimes. This subject has really become something I am passionate about!
P.S. If I could advertise here…Take back the night rally is April 15th on Campus from 6-8:30 PM! Come out and see what it’s all about, and if you are interested on being on the committee and helping out let me know, we could always use more help! And maybe Rodger will offer extra credit if people come out?! :)
Katz presented a new idea for me in this chapter. It was an idea that I recently discovered last semester and more this semester in women studies. He talks of how rape and violence against women is a man’s issue. And this is an idea I could not agree with more! Why would it be a women’s issue to fix it, they are not the ones committing the violent acts! It was also new to hear that Katz has a group of men “whose aim is to reduce violence against women by focusing on those aspects of male culture.” This seems like the perfect solution. Men need to take action. There are more men in higher political positions who could make a change. If more men participated in this, it could be more “popular” and more men would gain interest and hopefully jump on the band wagon, and if not at least they could get educated on the topic.
It is a man’s issue. Women are not committing the crimes. Less that 1% of these crimes are committed by women according to Katz. So why has it become our problem? It frustrates me so much to hear of a rape or attempted attack, etc and you hear someone asking questions about the victim, why they were doing this or that or anything on what they were doing; why the hell don’t we ask “why the hell are these sick men raping others?” The finger needs to be pointed at the criminal not the victim.
Prompt (1a) "The Macho Paradox" Chapter 2
Chapter 2 presented some new ideas to me. And now knowing these facts, I totally agree with what Katz is saying. Katz continues to focus on how rape is a man’s problem. However he focuses on how the true facts should not be ignored. Many of us, mainly men are silent to the violence and rape that occurs so frequently in our society. We are so quick to think it is unrelated to us, or we diminish the facts and concepts that should be portrayed to the public like how most of these crimes are committed by men and men who are close to the victim, instead the media just lists the event and totally unrelates it to everything. This makes the crimes unrelateable to most making them think it is not their problem, and it lessens the intensity.
Katz states "I believe that men who are silent in the face of other men's violence-whether the silence is intentional or not-are complicit in the perpetration of that violence" (25). This was a new idea for me. This idea encompassed the entire chapter. I knew rape was a man’s problem; it is committed by men 99% of the time. I didn't realize though how much sitting in silence is adding to the crime and the lack of awareness. Doing nothing is just as bad as committing the crime. We too often make the story unrelated to us and our lives, or think "well I don't do that so it doesn't matter", but in fact it makes a huge difference. Everyone should work on standing up for whats right and should be less concerned about just themselves.
Prompt (1b) “The Macho Paradox” Chapter 4
In Chapter 4 Katz talks about listening to women. What a concept right?!?! Women are the ones who started the movements and who are getting abused. However they are not being listened too. Our culture is still very sexist and racist. Katz talks about how he wrote this book based on all the ideas and movements women started, because sadly, women were not getting the attention they deserved. But people listened to Katz, because he is a man! THAT IS RIDICULOUS! But sadly it is something that makes sense to me. You can see this concept daily and everywhere. Men are treated with more respect and are heard more than woman. If it is a man’s problem or a man speaking about it, it is suddenly more important. Katz states that men want to “tell strong, smart, vocal women to sit down and shut up-and stop complaining” (62). This is so true. It is sad that society has shaped men to need to be in control. Because of this women are suffering. Men do not like women in control and whenever a woman talks of an issue she is “complaining” but a man can really be complaining about something and he is in the right.
It is saddening to know that women are not being heard, understood, or taken seriously. Katz comments on how a rape victim was glad to have support of her close male peers, but she states that sadly it is not true for all rape victims “many of whom feel isolated and unsupported, especially by their male peers” (65). This is sad but true. Some women are not even supported by their close male peers. I know when I talk about violence against women around a lot of my male peers it seems so unimportant to them and they seem to not care. Luckily I know that if something horrible like rape happened to me, they would be behind me, but since it is “unrelated” to me so far they see it as no big deal. And sadly some women are not even taken seriously when something horrible has happened to them.
Prompt (1a) "The Macho Paradox" Chapter 5
Katz presented some new ideas to me in this chapter. I knew women are sometimes frowned upon for voicing an opinion for what is right. Ridiculous right? I know. However Katz brought up things I have never noticed, like how women who are victims of violence and speak out are often called "male-bashers" which would imply violence on their part. The victim becomes the bad guy. Also Katz mentioned how men will misinterpret things and think since they are not a rapist or their friends that all men are like that. Katz states " 'The statement 'most violent crimes are committed by men' is ofter misheard as 'most men are violent.'" (79) This quote shows just how blind our society is, or just how blind they want to be. To me it seems that most men (not all) want to ignore the fact that 99% of rapes are committed by men and that most violent crimes are committed by men as well. This ties into the whole idea of ignoring the idea and being silent, when everyone, especially men need to take a stand!
Katz also talked about how the alleged victims become alleged accusers. Like when Kobe was accused of rape, the victim wasn't heard and of course since he is famous and rich he got off. The language matters as Katz states, and the language should be turned on the criminal not the victim.
Prompt (2a) Macho Paradox, Chapter 1
The idea of violence against women being a man’s issue has become a big part of my life. I feel strongly about it. Katz mentions “Take back the Night” rallies numerous times just in chapter one, and those rallies are something I have been involved in. I can’t stand when a victim is questioned or pointed at as in the wrong in any situation and that is what our society does many times. So this subject has impacted my life, and I will be helping with the rally on our campus this year.
The idea of take back the night is for women to literally take back the night. In some countries women have a curfew because there are too many women being raped. So the idea goes like this…”why don’t the men get a curfew since they are the one committing the crimes, and the women can go out and enjoy their lives?” The men should be punished. So the women are trying to “take back the night.” There should not be limits on the victim. There should never be questions asked like “why was she out so late, what was she doing there, etc?” the questions and criticism should always be linked at the criminal. It will also focus on rape culture and the reason men commit all these crimes. This subject has really become something I am passionate about!
P.S. If I could advertise here…Take back the night rally is April 15th on Campus from 6-8:30 PM! Come out and see what it’s all about, and if you are interested on being on the committee and helping out let me know, we could always use more help! And maybe Rodger will offer extra credit if people come out?! :)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Blog 3
Prompt 1b “Dude, you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 1
“Similarly contemporary meanings of sexuality, particularly heterosexuality, for instance, eroticize male dominance and female submission.” In chapter one, Pascoe opens with a scene from a high school skit that seems to portray aspects of “masculinity.” In this chapter he talks about how masculinity can be portrayed to society, and how it often is seen. I know these things to be true, and the way Pascoe described the scene made sense to me.
Pascoe stated that “the boys shed their last remnants of femininity by ripping off their matching miniskirts” (p. 3). This was something I could immediately relate too. I have heard so many ignorant statements told about the ideas of masculinity and femininity. Suddenly the boys are suddenly men and no longer weak and feminine because they ripped off their miniskirts. This brings me to the ignorant idea I have heard so many people say. People seem to have the idea that if someone is gay they are less masculine and want to wear girl’s clothes! Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they are a girl or want to act/dress like one! The quote stated above made me think of this idea and relate it to ignorant statements I hear daily. It is relatable, even our professor said his Dad thought he was going to run around in a dress and high heels when he found out he was gay. Our society has a skewed image of masculinity that men have to live up too, and this is sometimes/most of the time mixed in with being gay. Our society becomes homophobic, and suddenly if you are not built, a player, and totally masculine in every way you are gay and might as well be a girl. It is sad, but just makes me laugh that people could honestly think this, but at the same time it is not hard to believe with all the pressures of masculinity our society puts on men.
Prompt 1a “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 2
This chapter presented a new yet old idea to me. I know gender had been engraved in our heads, but every reading I am shocked to see how the author’s present new institutes that help engrave gender roles and identities into our heads. Pascoe talks about the school as a main institute that supports heterosexual and typical gender roles. I have never really noticed this before. Maybe I haven’t noticed it because I am a heterosexual female, so it doesn’t really affect me in that way. However, it does affect me because I am for equality and have many friends with different sexual orientations, so it makes me sad I am blind and so normalized to some of these gender roles. We are so normalized to this heterosexual outlook on life and within school programs, etc that I wouldn’t even know how they could start over and make it equal. It would cause an uproar that’s for sure. Although this is a new yet old idea to me, it is also confusing, because I do not know how one would change these roles and maybe match up boys with boy escorts at events, etc without someone freaking out about it. It is definitely something that needs to be addressed in society, because not everyone is heterosexual, but it is hard to change something that we have all been exposed to and taught since birth.
Prompt 1b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 3
Chapter three was a chapter that can be seen in everyday life and that makes total sense to me. Pascoe talks about our homophobic society. He mentions how “fag” is the worst thing to call a man, how many men are homophobic, and how it is okay to be lesbian in guy’s eyes, but being gay is disgusting to them. I know so many guys who are homophobic! It is crazy. Or they think every gay guy is going to try to hit on them. My main response to that ignorant thought has become “what makes you think you are his type or that he would be into you?” It’s a great one to throw at them! But seriously, why is it so wrong to be gay or portrayed as a fag?? And now the term fag is used just as a letdown, both genders use this word to bring someone down although they may not believe the person is really a fag. I just don’t understand and I can’t stand how some people are so homophobic and stereotypical. This is something that also puts pressure on men. They have to be completely masculine or they are a “fag,” and the men who are gay (who are still men if they are gay!) are looked down upon by most other men and considered less masculine. But it is alright to be a lesbian, because men think it is hot (only if the two girls are “hot”). What a double standard. This was definitely a relatable chapter and our society really needs a wakeup call and has no reason to be homophobic.
Prompt 1b “The Will to Change” Bell Hooks; Chapter 3
Bell Hooks talks about a topic I have seen much of before. She explains how young boys are the only ones who are able to show their true emotions and their love. I have a little brother, and babysit often, and have male friends. So I am able to see this change a lot. I notice this difference in the different age groups of boys. Younger boys I sit for easily share their emotions: cry, yell, love, etc. The older they get the more “masculine” and out of touch with their emotions they get. The will often get upset with their sister or younger siblings and say things like “why are you crying over that? Stop being such a girl.” This doesn’t mean they have no emotions but our society and idea of patriarchy makes boys feel like they have to be emotionless and not show their desire or want for love. They need to be strong, and emotions make them weak. This idea is ridiculous to me, but is something I know affects our society because it is something I see every day and can relate to.
Prompt 1b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 4
In this chapter, Pascoe talks about “compulsive heterosexuality.” This was another topic that was very relatable to me. Pascoe tells how young men constantly think and talk about sex in a group of other guys. This was kind of a new idea for me. I knew men talked about sex a lot, but Pascoe related it to showing heterosexuality and being “dominant.” I had recently just talked about the topic of dominance, and it scares me that men look at sex in that aspect. The reason it scares me is because it was recently brought to my attention when talking about rape. Someone stated that rape “isn’t about sex, its about dominance and power.” If our society is bringing men to see power and dominance as such a big part of masculinity and that is getting translated into sex, this is a very bad thing in my eyes. Especially when it leads to rape in some cases. It is so important for men to show their heterosexuality in our society, and by getting with lots of women; this is a way of showing their heterosexuality. However it is also a topic I have seen many times before, men seem to always talk about sex and getting girls. When they do they are praised by other guys, but if a girl “sleeps around” she is looked at as a hoe.
Prompt 2b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 4
When Pascoe talks about men being different around a group of guys and around their girlfriends and how they changed, I immediately thought of many guy friends I have. Sometimes I have hung out with all my guy friends and I’ll be the only girl, and they will constantly talk about girls and sex, but when the group is mixed up, their personality changes, and when it is one on one, they are a totally different person. Or when with a guy one on one and they run into a buddy everything about them changes in an instant. Most guys I know put on a whole new face to impress their guy friends I guess. Honestly this makes me sad. Because I feel I may know who they truly are, but for some reason they are not allowed to share that with the rest of the world. I know some of my friends are not who they portray themselves to be, so it sucks that they have the pressure to be this “masculine” man who has sex and is dominant to women. It sucks that they feel they have to follow this pressure and be a person they are not.
“Similarly contemporary meanings of sexuality, particularly heterosexuality, for instance, eroticize male dominance and female submission.” In chapter one, Pascoe opens with a scene from a high school skit that seems to portray aspects of “masculinity.” In this chapter he talks about how masculinity can be portrayed to society, and how it often is seen. I know these things to be true, and the way Pascoe described the scene made sense to me.
Pascoe stated that “the boys shed their last remnants of femininity by ripping off their matching miniskirts” (p. 3). This was something I could immediately relate too. I have heard so many ignorant statements told about the ideas of masculinity and femininity. Suddenly the boys are suddenly men and no longer weak and feminine because they ripped off their miniskirts. This brings me to the ignorant idea I have heard so many people say. People seem to have the idea that if someone is gay they are less masculine and want to wear girl’s clothes! Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they are a girl or want to act/dress like one! The quote stated above made me think of this idea and relate it to ignorant statements I hear daily. It is relatable, even our professor said his Dad thought he was going to run around in a dress and high heels when he found out he was gay. Our society has a skewed image of masculinity that men have to live up too, and this is sometimes/most of the time mixed in with being gay. Our society becomes homophobic, and suddenly if you are not built, a player, and totally masculine in every way you are gay and might as well be a girl. It is sad, but just makes me laugh that people could honestly think this, but at the same time it is not hard to believe with all the pressures of masculinity our society puts on men.
Prompt 1a “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 2
This chapter presented a new yet old idea to me. I know gender had been engraved in our heads, but every reading I am shocked to see how the author’s present new institutes that help engrave gender roles and identities into our heads. Pascoe talks about the school as a main institute that supports heterosexual and typical gender roles. I have never really noticed this before. Maybe I haven’t noticed it because I am a heterosexual female, so it doesn’t really affect me in that way. However, it does affect me because I am for equality and have many friends with different sexual orientations, so it makes me sad I am blind and so normalized to some of these gender roles. We are so normalized to this heterosexual outlook on life and within school programs, etc that I wouldn’t even know how they could start over and make it equal. It would cause an uproar that’s for sure. Although this is a new yet old idea to me, it is also confusing, because I do not know how one would change these roles and maybe match up boys with boy escorts at events, etc without someone freaking out about it. It is definitely something that needs to be addressed in society, because not everyone is heterosexual, but it is hard to change something that we have all been exposed to and taught since birth.
Prompt 1b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 3
Chapter three was a chapter that can be seen in everyday life and that makes total sense to me. Pascoe talks about our homophobic society. He mentions how “fag” is the worst thing to call a man, how many men are homophobic, and how it is okay to be lesbian in guy’s eyes, but being gay is disgusting to them. I know so many guys who are homophobic! It is crazy. Or they think every gay guy is going to try to hit on them. My main response to that ignorant thought has become “what makes you think you are his type or that he would be into you?” It’s a great one to throw at them! But seriously, why is it so wrong to be gay or portrayed as a fag?? And now the term fag is used just as a letdown, both genders use this word to bring someone down although they may not believe the person is really a fag. I just don’t understand and I can’t stand how some people are so homophobic and stereotypical. This is something that also puts pressure on men. They have to be completely masculine or they are a “fag,” and the men who are gay (who are still men if they are gay!) are looked down upon by most other men and considered less masculine. But it is alright to be a lesbian, because men think it is hot (only if the two girls are “hot”). What a double standard. This was definitely a relatable chapter and our society really needs a wakeup call and has no reason to be homophobic.
Prompt 1b “The Will to Change” Bell Hooks; Chapter 3
Bell Hooks talks about a topic I have seen much of before. She explains how young boys are the only ones who are able to show their true emotions and their love. I have a little brother, and babysit often, and have male friends. So I am able to see this change a lot. I notice this difference in the different age groups of boys. Younger boys I sit for easily share their emotions: cry, yell, love, etc. The older they get the more “masculine” and out of touch with their emotions they get. The will often get upset with their sister or younger siblings and say things like “why are you crying over that? Stop being such a girl.” This doesn’t mean they have no emotions but our society and idea of patriarchy makes boys feel like they have to be emotionless and not show their desire or want for love. They need to be strong, and emotions make them weak. This idea is ridiculous to me, but is something I know affects our society because it is something I see every day and can relate to.
Prompt 1b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 4
In this chapter, Pascoe talks about “compulsive heterosexuality.” This was another topic that was very relatable to me. Pascoe tells how young men constantly think and talk about sex in a group of other guys. This was kind of a new idea for me. I knew men talked about sex a lot, but Pascoe related it to showing heterosexuality and being “dominant.” I had recently just talked about the topic of dominance, and it scares me that men look at sex in that aspect. The reason it scares me is because it was recently brought to my attention when talking about rape. Someone stated that rape “isn’t about sex, its about dominance and power.” If our society is bringing men to see power and dominance as such a big part of masculinity and that is getting translated into sex, this is a very bad thing in my eyes. Especially when it leads to rape in some cases. It is so important for men to show their heterosexuality in our society, and by getting with lots of women; this is a way of showing their heterosexuality. However it is also a topic I have seen many times before, men seem to always talk about sex and getting girls. When they do they are praised by other guys, but if a girl “sleeps around” she is looked at as a hoe.
Prompt 2b “Dude you’re a Fag” C.J. Pascoe; Chapter 4
When Pascoe talks about men being different around a group of guys and around their girlfriends and how they changed, I immediately thought of many guy friends I have. Sometimes I have hung out with all my guy friends and I’ll be the only girl, and they will constantly talk about girls and sex, but when the group is mixed up, their personality changes, and when it is one on one, they are a totally different person. Or when with a guy one on one and they run into a buddy everything about them changes in an instant. Most guys I know put on a whole new face to impress their guy friends I guess. Honestly this makes me sad. Because I feel I may know who they truly are, but for some reason they are not allowed to share that with the rest of the world. I know some of my friends are not who they portray themselves to be, so it sucks that they have the pressure to be this “masculine” man who has sex and is dominant to women. It sucks that they feel they have to follow this pressure and be a person they are not.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Blog Number 2!
Prompt (1a)
Allan G Johnson – “Patriarchy, The System”
This article presented a new idea to me that I totally agree with. Our society is so fast to point the finger at others. If something goes wrong or someone is racist, violent, sexist, we say they have a messed up mind and are somewhat disgusted. But we never ask how they got that way. We never think to look at our society, and how many things in our society could shape people in a bad way. The article states that if a man beat, raped, harassed, etc a woman we ask how could they instead of asking “what kind of society could promote persistent patterns of such behavior in everyday life, from wife-beating jokes to the routine inclusion of sexual coercion and violence in mainstream movies” (p. 344).
This presented a new idea to me. Of course I am not blind to all the violence and sex in today’s media. I knew it must be detrimental in some way; however I never really took it as seriously as I should have. I always blame the individual when in fact our society is filling people’s heads with horrible ideas. And though I do not necessarily support it, I am still a supporter by seeing such films, in a sense fueling profit and agree to the violence being portrayed. It was a new idea to take more responsibility. A lot of the times we all think we are innocent, but in reality there is so much more we could do. “As the saying goes, what evil requires is simply that ordinary people do nothing” (p. 345).
Prompt (1b)
Pail Kivel – “The act like a man box”
This is an article that I could totally relate too and something that I see every day. I learned a little background from wmst 101, which led me to take this class. Men are just as pressured and oppressed in a sense as women. They have more benefits in certain areas, but in all honestly they are silently beaten and forced to hold back all emotions that every human possesses.
This cycle is unfair to both men and women. It is not fair for men to have to hide their emotions and be “manly” at all times. However, this also is unfair to women. Because it seems the worst thing you can call a man is a “fag” or something that relates to a woman. “This feeds into two things we are taught to fear: (1) that we may not be manly enough and (2) that we might be gay” (p. 148). I feel so bad for men to have to be pressured into this box, and it just disturbs me that the biggest fears relate to having to be like a woman (I don’t know why that is so bad?!) or being gay! Homophobia is such a big concept to men and I feel that so many men are homophobic and it is so annoying. And our culture and this box are making men fear this and not being manly enough!
Prompt (1c)
Bell Hooks – “The will to Change” Chapter 1
I was somewhat confused of what Hooks was saying. Not that it was hard to understand or that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but rather because I couldn’t relate. She talks about men’s love. How she longed for love from her Father more than her Mother and she said many girls and boys feel that way. This was unrelatable to me, because I never longer for my father’s love more. Maybe I was just fortunate and he showed me his love. I could also not relate to not wanted to hear men’s feelings. I personally love deep conversations and love it when men open up and you truly get to know a person. That idea does not freak me out at all. She also stated that “real men get mad” (p. 7). This is also something that I couldn’t relate too. Of course I know men seem to get angrier easier and they are taught to express this emotion alone. But I do not agree with it. Half the time when I see a guy get mad it is for a dumb reason in my opinion and I see him as needing anger management and it is a turn off to me not something or the only thing that I want to see men express.
However I had mixed feelings on this chapter, because some of what she said was relatable. I do believe women value relationships with men. Even for me when I have a close guy friend, to have a deep conversation with them or when they tell you how they really feel, it means so much more to me than if a girlfriend were to say the same thing. It means more because it is more unexpected and women tell you daily how they feel. So in a way I feel bad for men. They are getting mixed signals and Hooks explains. We want their love and for them to show emotion (which I really do want) but at the same time we want to feel safe, protected, and we want them to be the fearless provider. “Ultimately boys and men save themselves when they earn the art of loving” (p. 16). We must let men be free to love and express themselves and not always expect them to be fearless, for we all have emotions.
Prompt (1a)
The second chapter of “The Will to Change” by Hooks presented a new idea to me. I have always known that men have been looked at as the “provider” but some of the concepts that Hooks talked about presented some new ideas to me. Our society seems to see mainly only the troubles that women face, so there comes the feminist. Feminism is something I agree with and I consider myself a feminist, but looking more into men and the idea of masculinities I feel that our society doesn’t fully recognize the pressures they put on men to be “inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence” (p.18).
Our society put these ideas and pressures into men. They were not born violent with ideas of dominance. When you notice this, I notice at least that our society is really detrimental to men. They have to pressure to be superior, a provider, not show their emotions, etc. If I had to hide my emotions then I would feel like I was hiding part of me. Also when Hooks mentioned the idea of church that was something new to me. I have been to church and never even realized how the church group put the pressures on men too. The Bible states men are there to rule and women are caregivers, also Jesus is portrayed as a man. I am really glad to start noticing these things so I can do what I can to reduce the pressures of the men in my life.
Prompt (2b)
When I read the article “The act like a man box” by Paul Kivel, I immediately wanted to write about it and thought of an incident that just happened to me a few days ago.
The article talks about how boys are told to be manly and not a sissy and “most of all they are told not to cry” (p. 148). Just a few days ago I was talking to one of my best guy friends. His Grandfather was really sick and getting ready to pass away, as the doctors said. So of course we talked about it a lot. We were texting and he shocked me because he said “sorry if I am acting like a baby about this.” I was immediately shocked and wondered why he would even feel the need to day that. I informed him that he is not a baby at all and it was a huge deal. Anyone would be sad and consumed by the thought. Also we are really close so I just didn’t even know why he would think that. I thought about our class and when I read this article, I thought about our conversation.
It makes me so sad to think that this “box” has the effect that is described in this article. I have always seen this idea of boys having to be manly but until the incident with my friend I didn’t realize how much it affects guys. My friend who was going through a really tough time shouldn’t feel the need to justify anything to me. I never thought of him as a wimp, but he obviously has been affected by this idea of not being able to cry and being manly. It makes me sad to think guys are programmed in this way, and it affects them in ways more than we may think or know.
Allan G Johnson – “Patriarchy, The System”
This article presented a new idea to me that I totally agree with. Our society is so fast to point the finger at others. If something goes wrong or someone is racist, violent, sexist, we say they have a messed up mind and are somewhat disgusted. But we never ask how they got that way. We never think to look at our society, and how many things in our society could shape people in a bad way. The article states that if a man beat, raped, harassed, etc a woman we ask how could they instead of asking “what kind of society could promote persistent patterns of such behavior in everyday life, from wife-beating jokes to the routine inclusion of sexual coercion and violence in mainstream movies” (p. 344).
This presented a new idea to me. Of course I am not blind to all the violence and sex in today’s media. I knew it must be detrimental in some way; however I never really took it as seriously as I should have. I always blame the individual when in fact our society is filling people’s heads with horrible ideas. And though I do not necessarily support it, I am still a supporter by seeing such films, in a sense fueling profit and agree to the violence being portrayed. It was a new idea to take more responsibility. A lot of the times we all think we are innocent, but in reality there is so much more we could do. “As the saying goes, what evil requires is simply that ordinary people do nothing” (p. 345).
Prompt (1b)
Pail Kivel – “The act like a man box”
This is an article that I could totally relate too and something that I see every day. I learned a little background from wmst 101, which led me to take this class. Men are just as pressured and oppressed in a sense as women. They have more benefits in certain areas, but in all honestly they are silently beaten and forced to hold back all emotions that every human possesses.
This cycle is unfair to both men and women. It is not fair for men to have to hide their emotions and be “manly” at all times. However, this also is unfair to women. Because it seems the worst thing you can call a man is a “fag” or something that relates to a woman. “This feeds into two things we are taught to fear: (1) that we may not be manly enough and (2) that we might be gay” (p. 148). I feel so bad for men to have to be pressured into this box, and it just disturbs me that the biggest fears relate to having to be like a woman (I don’t know why that is so bad?!) or being gay! Homophobia is such a big concept to men and I feel that so many men are homophobic and it is so annoying. And our culture and this box are making men fear this and not being manly enough!
Prompt (1c)
Bell Hooks – “The will to Change” Chapter 1
I was somewhat confused of what Hooks was saying. Not that it was hard to understand or that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but rather because I couldn’t relate. She talks about men’s love. How she longed for love from her Father more than her Mother and she said many girls and boys feel that way. This was unrelatable to me, because I never longer for my father’s love more. Maybe I was just fortunate and he showed me his love. I could also not relate to not wanted to hear men’s feelings. I personally love deep conversations and love it when men open up and you truly get to know a person. That idea does not freak me out at all. She also stated that “real men get mad” (p. 7). This is also something that I couldn’t relate too. Of course I know men seem to get angrier easier and they are taught to express this emotion alone. But I do not agree with it. Half the time when I see a guy get mad it is for a dumb reason in my opinion and I see him as needing anger management and it is a turn off to me not something or the only thing that I want to see men express.
However I had mixed feelings on this chapter, because some of what she said was relatable. I do believe women value relationships with men. Even for me when I have a close guy friend, to have a deep conversation with them or when they tell you how they really feel, it means so much more to me than if a girlfriend were to say the same thing. It means more because it is more unexpected and women tell you daily how they feel. So in a way I feel bad for men. They are getting mixed signals and Hooks explains. We want their love and for them to show emotion (which I really do want) but at the same time we want to feel safe, protected, and we want them to be the fearless provider. “Ultimately boys and men save themselves when they earn the art of loving” (p. 16). We must let men be free to love and express themselves and not always expect them to be fearless, for we all have emotions.
Prompt (1a)
The second chapter of “The Will to Change” by Hooks presented a new idea to me. I have always known that men have been looked at as the “provider” but some of the concepts that Hooks talked about presented some new ideas to me. Our society seems to see mainly only the troubles that women face, so there comes the feminist. Feminism is something I agree with and I consider myself a feminist, but looking more into men and the idea of masculinities I feel that our society doesn’t fully recognize the pressures they put on men to be “inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence” (p.18).
Our society put these ideas and pressures into men. They were not born violent with ideas of dominance. When you notice this, I notice at least that our society is really detrimental to men. They have to pressure to be superior, a provider, not show their emotions, etc. If I had to hide my emotions then I would feel like I was hiding part of me. Also when Hooks mentioned the idea of church that was something new to me. I have been to church and never even realized how the church group put the pressures on men too. The Bible states men are there to rule and women are caregivers, also Jesus is portrayed as a man. I am really glad to start noticing these things so I can do what I can to reduce the pressures of the men in my life.
Prompt (2b)
When I read the article “The act like a man box” by Paul Kivel, I immediately wanted to write about it and thought of an incident that just happened to me a few days ago.
The article talks about how boys are told to be manly and not a sissy and “most of all they are told not to cry” (p. 148). Just a few days ago I was talking to one of my best guy friends. His Grandfather was really sick and getting ready to pass away, as the doctors said. So of course we talked about it a lot. We were texting and he shocked me because he said “sorry if I am acting like a baby about this.” I was immediately shocked and wondered why he would even feel the need to day that. I informed him that he is not a baby at all and it was a huge deal. Anyone would be sad and consumed by the thought. Also we are really close so I just didn’t even know why he would think that. I thought about our class and when I read this article, I thought about our conversation.
It makes me so sad to think that this “box” has the effect that is described in this article. I have always seen this idea of boys having to be manly but until the incident with my friend I didn’t realize how much it affects guys. My friend who was going through a really tough time shouldn’t feel the need to justify anything to me. I never thought of him as a wimp, but he obviously has been affected by this idea of not being able to cry and being manly. It makes me sad to think guys are programmed in this way, and it affects them in ways more than we may think or know.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Blog 1
Prompt 1(a)
Based on the reading “Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspective” by Lorber and Moore, a new and upsetting idea was presented to me.
I have always been a supporter of equality and same-sex relationships/marriages, etc. To me everyone should be able to make their own decisions. However this article talked about how our genders that are stated right at birth do not allow us to be as diverse as we could be.
I have always noticed that gender is a huge role in our society and seems of such importance in our society. But I never really noticed the harmful effects of this classification. To me it helped with determining health issues, etc. But after reading this article and specifically this quote “Human bodies are not ‘natural’; they are socially produces under specific cultural circumstances. They are shaped by sociocultural ideals of what female and male bodies should look like and be capable of” (p. 2).
This idea was new to me. It was new to look at gender specifications in this way. Before I didn’t really see the harm in it, but this quote and article made me realize how shaped we are based on our gender. And I know that for some people picking a gender is not the easiest thing. For a job or doctor visit sure they may put what they were classified at birth, but what about how they feel, or which gender they were or want to be? It is a confusing and to me personally an unnecessary thing to focus so much of our time on. Our society shouldn’t classify everyone by gender.
Prompt 1(b)
The article titled “how do you Know?” by Green really made sense to me. The whole idea of femininity and masculinity being portrayed by women and men is something that irritates me so muc.h. Technically I would be classified as a heterosexual female. However I do not choose to take on many feminine roles. I do not like to act “like a lady” all the time. I do not want to put on my make up and do my hair everyday either. And because of this I shouldn’t have people judging me and saying I do not act like a lady or that I am not the ideal image of a woman.
There was one quote I could really relate too. The quote that hit me was “Or you might see a male person with feminine characteristics and assume he is gay, but he may very well be straight or bisexual. And he might think of himself as masculine, no matter what you might conclude from observing him” (p. 5). I know many people who identify as straight or see themselves as masculine, that are often classified by others as gay. Just because they may like something a little more “girly” or they are more sensitive people make their assumptions. It just makes me think of the saying you know what happens when you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. Assuming does no one any good. And assuming something about someone you don’t even know makes no sense to me. Why does it even matter what gender or sex someone is? It makes me sad to realize that this idea is so important to our society and that we automatically judge people based on what we observe for a short period of time. People should be able to act how they want and not have people assuming who they are.
Prompt 1(a)
This article by Lorber “Night to his Day” related to the first one to me. It had the same message to me but something else popped out in this article to me.
Again this idea of gender being imprinted in our brains is a new concept for me. I can see that it is there, but it is something I never noticed or considered before. From birth we are classified, and like the first article by Lorber, we are shaped with this idea of gender. At such a young age we are put into a category and taught the “right way” to act based on that category.
This idea shocks me when you really think about it; because you will not truly feel free to explore or do what you think is fun if you are taught that may be the “wrong” way. The story in this article that really made me think was the story of the baby dressed in all white. Baseball cap and all white, so maybe a boy. But no it was a girl and it was made known because of the earrings and flowered shoes. The article goes onto tell that if we do not know the gender of a baby we get uncomfortable. The first question we ask is if it’s a boy or a girl. This has always seemed harmless to me, but after reading the article it seems so sad that we are all programmed that way. Why should we get uncomfortable if we don’t know the gender? Why is gender classification so important and our first question? When I truly looked at this idea, it really does get into the brains of the youth and restricts them from who they truly may be.
Prompt (1c)
The article titled, “A continuous Nonverbal Communication” by Riki Wilchins, was an article I found confusing. I just found the writing of the article confusing. I understood to some aspect what the author was proposing, but didn’t see the importance as he did.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a supporter or equality, gender rights, etc, but I have never thought of fighting for gender civil rights or for taking this to a political standpoint. I see it as an important aspect that deserves a fight, but I do not think that political action will necessarily fix much. I would love to see more acceptance and understanding, but I know that just because something is politically recognized doesn’t mean people will agree with it.
Unfortunately some people are still racist; just as they are sexist. After reading the article I see now the importance of bringing this to a bigger fight and a political standpoint, but at first I was just confused. It would be great to see this fight being fought and won and accepted, but even if it is politically recognized doesn’t mean it is accepted by most. I guess I just see the importance in people truly changing and being open minded and accepted, I never looked at it in a civil rights movement kind of way, but now I do see the importance in it.
Prompt 2 (b)
The article that really stuck with me was “Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspective” by Lorber and Moore. Like I stated earlier, gender is obviously everywhere in our society, but I had never looked at in a detrimental way until reading these articles.
These gender ideals make it hard for people to fully express and be themselves. But the reason I chose to expand on this article, was the quote that stated: “Similarly, because homosexuals are so devalued, gay men and women in the public eye may choose to look ‘straight’ in their appearance, even when they are open about their sexuality” (p. 1). This quote just automatically made me mad and sad. But it was relatable. I have many friends who are gay, and most of them put on the “straight” look and attitude around certain people. But to me they are so open and they truly know who they are inside. I was even more shocked to learn that our professor who I know is so open, puts on the “straight” look at the bars. It makes me so sad to hear this. I know all these people know who they are and are open for the most part, but they still hide certain aspects of their life because of the way our society has classified “normal and gender.”
I think people are not truly themselves at times because of all the pressure. Since birth we are told that there are men and women. Men do this and women do that. And if you do not act the way you are supposed to based on your gender then you are looked down upon. And although my friends and our professor are totally comfortable with their sexuality, they are still in some aspects not being true to themselves. And this may be for the benefit of others. The idea of being gay still scares some people. And I could see how those who still put on the “straight” mask may be doing that because it may not even be worth it to explain to people, or put up with their discomfort. That is the problem. People are so programmed to seeing gender and the “right way” it should be modeled that they are blind to who people really are.
So this article and the idea of gender really hit home for me. I have many friends who have to deal with this daily, and I just think it is so wrong.
Based on the reading “Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspective” by Lorber and Moore, a new and upsetting idea was presented to me.
I have always been a supporter of equality and same-sex relationships/marriages, etc. To me everyone should be able to make their own decisions. However this article talked about how our genders that are stated right at birth do not allow us to be as diverse as we could be.
I have always noticed that gender is a huge role in our society and seems of such importance in our society. But I never really noticed the harmful effects of this classification. To me it helped with determining health issues, etc. But after reading this article and specifically this quote “Human bodies are not ‘natural’; they are socially produces under specific cultural circumstances. They are shaped by sociocultural ideals of what female and male bodies should look like and be capable of” (p. 2).
This idea was new to me. It was new to look at gender specifications in this way. Before I didn’t really see the harm in it, but this quote and article made me realize how shaped we are based on our gender. And I know that for some people picking a gender is not the easiest thing. For a job or doctor visit sure they may put what they were classified at birth, but what about how they feel, or which gender they were or want to be? It is a confusing and to me personally an unnecessary thing to focus so much of our time on. Our society shouldn’t classify everyone by gender.
Prompt 1(b)
The article titled “how do you Know?” by Green really made sense to me. The whole idea of femininity and masculinity being portrayed by women and men is something that irritates me so muc.h. Technically I would be classified as a heterosexual female. However I do not choose to take on many feminine roles. I do not like to act “like a lady” all the time. I do not want to put on my make up and do my hair everyday either. And because of this I shouldn’t have people judging me and saying I do not act like a lady or that I am not the ideal image of a woman.
There was one quote I could really relate too. The quote that hit me was “Or you might see a male person with feminine characteristics and assume he is gay, but he may very well be straight or bisexual. And he might think of himself as masculine, no matter what you might conclude from observing him” (p. 5). I know many people who identify as straight or see themselves as masculine, that are often classified by others as gay. Just because they may like something a little more “girly” or they are more sensitive people make their assumptions. It just makes me think of the saying you know what happens when you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. Assuming does no one any good. And assuming something about someone you don’t even know makes no sense to me. Why does it even matter what gender or sex someone is? It makes me sad to realize that this idea is so important to our society and that we automatically judge people based on what we observe for a short period of time. People should be able to act how they want and not have people assuming who they are.
Prompt 1(a)
This article by Lorber “Night to his Day” related to the first one to me. It had the same message to me but something else popped out in this article to me.
Again this idea of gender being imprinted in our brains is a new concept for me. I can see that it is there, but it is something I never noticed or considered before. From birth we are classified, and like the first article by Lorber, we are shaped with this idea of gender. At such a young age we are put into a category and taught the “right way” to act based on that category.
This idea shocks me when you really think about it; because you will not truly feel free to explore or do what you think is fun if you are taught that may be the “wrong” way. The story in this article that really made me think was the story of the baby dressed in all white. Baseball cap and all white, so maybe a boy. But no it was a girl and it was made known because of the earrings and flowered shoes. The article goes onto tell that if we do not know the gender of a baby we get uncomfortable. The first question we ask is if it’s a boy or a girl. This has always seemed harmless to me, but after reading the article it seems so sad that we are all programmed that way. Why should we get uncomfortable if we don’t know the gender? Why is gender classification so important and our first question? When I truly looked at this idea, it really does get into the brains of the youth and restricts them from who they truly may be.
Prompt (1c)
The article titled, “A continuous Nonverbal Communication” by Riki Wilchins, was an article I found confusing. I just found the writing of the article confusing. I understood to some aspect what the author was proposing, but didn’t see the importance as he did.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a supporter or equality, gender rights, etc, but I have never thought of fighting for gender civil rights or for taking this to a political standpoint. I see it as an important aspect that deserves a fight, but I do not think that political action will necessarily fix much. I would love to see more acceptance and understanding, but I know that just because something is politically recognized doesn’t mean people will agree with it.
Unfortunately some people are still racist; just as they are sexist. After reading the article I see now the importance of bringing this to a bigger fight and a political standpoint, but at first I was just confused. It would be great to see this fight being fought and won and accepted, but even if it is politically recognized doesn’t mean it is accepted by most. I guess I just see the importance in people truly changing and being open minded and accepted, I never looked at it in a civil rights movement kind of way, but now I do see the importance in it.
Prompt 2 (b)
The article that really stuck with me was “Gendered Bodies: Feminist Perspective” by Lorber and Moore. Like I stated earlier, gender is obviously everywhere in our society, but I had never looked at in a detrimental way until reading these articles.
These gender ideals make it hard for people to fully express and be themselves. But the reason I chose to expand on this article, was the quote that stated: “Similarly, because homosexuals are so devalued, gay men and women in the public eye may choose to look ‘straight’ in their appearance, even when they are open about their sexuality” (p. 1). This quote just automatically made me mad and sad. But it was relatable. I have many friends who are gay, and most of them put on the “straight” look and attitude around certain people. But to me they are so open and they truly know who they are inside. I was even more shocked to learn that our professor who I know is so open, puts on the “straight” look at the bars. It makes me so sad to hear this. I know all these people know who they are and are open for the most part, but they still hide certain aspects of their life because of the way our society has classified “normal and gender.”
I think people are not truly themselves at times because of all the pressure. Since birth we are told that there are men and women. Men do this and women do that. And if you do not act the way you are supposed to based on your gender then you are looked down upon. And although my friends and our professor are totally comfortable with their sexuality, they are still in some aspects not being true to themselves. And this may be for the benefit of others. The idea of being gay still scares some people. And I could see how those who still put on the “straight” mask may be doing that because it may not even be worth it to explain to people, or put up with their discomfort. That is the problem. People are so programmed to seeing gender and the “right way” it should be modeled that they are blind to who people really are.
So this article and the idea of gender really hit home for me. I have many friends who have to deal with this daily, and I just think it is so wrong.
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